How will you die?

[MacPhantom]

A little bit complimentary, Witchy, but not bad...!

Your husband gets insanely jealous of your Reaper Claus exchange gift, and tries to steal it, but you're having none of it! You smack him upside the head, then go on the run with your best friend in a stolen car. The police start to chase you, but before they catch you, you and your friend drive your car off a cliff. In death you become heroes to a generation of women who are sick of their husbands trying to steal their cool Halloween stuff.

[witchy]

[Ciuin]

Your husband regrets his action more than can be imagined. The night after you die, he breaks into the morgue and steals your remains (which are quite battered). He packages you up and ships you off to his rich uncle in eastern Europe. You're brought back to life in a Ukrainian laboratory by Dr. Sergei Brodsky, a super model/scientist/prince/millionaire. The good doctor is struck by your beauty the moment you open your eyes and immediately forms a plan to kidnap you and run off to Moscow where he can be free to flaunt you. Running away goes off without a hitch and you begin your lives anew. But then one day he takes you to the circus and the dancing bear mauls you and eats your brain and spinal cord. Sergei can never rebuild you.

[MacPhantom]

I'm starting to think Ciuin is really Stephen Colbert....

[witchy]

Cluin, I luv all of it except the bear, you have a thing for bears don't you!!!

Cluin decide to go work at the local circus, she finds that she loves to dance with the dancing bear, but one day the bears feeder forgot to feed him & poor Cluin starts to dance with that bear, and the whole time the bear was thinking....LUNCH!!!!

[Ciuin]

Bears freak me out pretty bad. They're like land sharks. Only more deceptive because they're cute.

[MacPhantom]

AAAWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!

[Ciuin]

They don't like to be mocked, guess who's breaking into your house and mauling you Mac? It's not me. It's a bear.

[MacPhantom]

I'll lull him with cornbread, and then brain him with a spiked flail and stretch him out in front of the fireplace.

By the way; you die in a hail of gunfire fleeing from a pack of rabid shark fans.

[Ciuin]

On your next trip to Scotland, a real Scotsman challenges you to a drinking contest which you horribly fail. The locals strip you and put you on the train to London where you wake up hours later covered in graffiti and saliva. You run through the station begging for help, grabbing on to strangers. You muss up one mans tie so badly he has no choice but to shove you in front of the next oncoming train.

[MacPhantom]

Let me guess... A bear was driving the train??

Ben Affleck invites you out for a bowl of chowdah, and it's wicked haaadcoaar, that chowdah. Then the two of you knoack back some Sam Adams, which does noat sit well with the chowdah. You throw up all ovah Ben Affleck's shirt, which cahst a foatune, so he makes you roab a bank to pay him back. The security gaahd at the bank tazes you, and your haaat stoaps beating. Then yah dead.

[Andybev01]

Wick'd aahs'm!!

Umm...rabid squirrels, something having to do with rabid squirrels.

It's too early and the coffee isn't working yet.

[Ciuin]

Ben Affleck invites you out for a bowl of chowdah, and it's wicked haaadcoaar, that chowdah. Then the two of you knoack back some Sam Adams, which does noat sit well with the chowdah. You throw up all ovah Ben Affleck's shirt, which cahst a foatune, so he makes you roab a bank to pay him back. The security gaahd at the bank tazes you, and your haaat stoaps beating. Then yah dead.

You sound exactly like my brother. I sound a little less braying myself.



Andy, you leave on an Alaskan cruise in hopes of escaping the heat. The only ticket you could get on such short notice is in the lowest bowels of the ship. While up on deck, getting some refreshing air, you spot an incredibly beautiful woman from first class who pretends to ignore you. That night she tries to kill herself by jumping of the back of the ship and you attempt to stop her. After offering to draw her naked she is even more depressed and jumps away. Some people claim you pushed her and you're beaten to death with billy clubs by the ship security.

[Andybev01]

(just to clarify; the offer to draw her involves which one of us not wearing clothes?)

Ciuin knew that something was clearly wrong with the order of the Universe, as no reports of a bear mauling or even bear rudeness had made the local news for days now.

Firing up ol' red she pedaled her way across town to see if she could glean any info from the boys in lock-up.

Pulling into the county zoo she made her way to the bear pit and scoped out the scene.

From the railing she saw 2 Ursus americanus glancing suspiciously in her direction but avoiding eye contact, and 1 old griz' sunning himself on a boulder, and picking his teeth with a broken half of a cops' nightstick.

He winked at her and smiled, slid off of his warm perch and waddled with no sense of urgency in her direction.

"Long time no see" he said as he turned his back to her and plopped down in the shade. "Seeing you only means one thing; you need info."

"Don't play it that way man. Can't a girl just be out for a nice day at the zoo without people reading all sorts of stuff into it?"

"Most girls yes..." he let his silence finish the thought.

Just then a pack of rabid squirrels leaped out of the shade tree in the bear pit and tore her limb from limb.

(I knew squirrels were going to figure into this!)

[MacPhantom]

You choke to death on a pretzel while the country goes to hell around you.