There is no such thing as luck, I worked for it.
This was a really long post, way longer than I intended it to be, but it was both a painful, and therapeutic stroll down memory lane. There is some subject matter that some people might find hard to read, so you have been warned. You can consider this post - everything you didn't want to know about me, and nothing you wanted to ask.
MauEvig, I know this is a very long winded way to answer your question, but I had to reflect on my journey, and it's necessary to explain how I got where I am. You can just skip to the end where I address you directly if you don't want to read it.
In a way, this is also a response to a post that Murf made in another thread, but I was too busy at the time to give a proper reply, I've posted the quote below so you know what I'm talking about.
Murfreesboro wrote: ↑Fri Nov 24, 2023 10:56 am
What a compliment, to be compared to Fezziwig! You sound like a generous and appreciative boss.
First, thanks for the kind words Murf, I appreciate it.
Now, on with the story.
My father owned a gas station and auto repair garage, and he also dealt in used cars, and owned half of a taxi company with his brother, so to say that he was loaded would be a understatement. However, he was the cruelest man you could ever meet, and I don't mean just to strangers, but to his family as well. As a kid, I saw how he treated his employees and other people, he would degrade them, and always work them to death, and he enjoyed it. He would always brag to us about how they were his slaves and they didn't matter.
To give you a example of how evil he was, when I was 6 he brought my brother and I to work with him late one night, we didn't know why we were there, we walked in and saw a bunch of his employees standing in the garage, my father proceeded to give a long speech about loyalty, he was yelling and you could tell by the look on some of their faces that some of them were nervous. My father had a large metal tool in his hands, I don't recall what it was because I was so scared, he was walking back and forth while yelling, and then he suddenly hit one of the guys with the tool right in the chest, he then told the other employees to pick the guy up and hold him, and then my father used his fists and beat the s--t out of the guy right in front of us. He beat him for about 10 minutes, the whole time he was laughing maniacally, there was blood everywhere, and my brother and I stood in the corner crying because we thought my father was going to kill us next. After he was done, my father walked over to us with a smile on his face and told us that's what happens to people that steal from him.
He drove us home, and didn't say a word to us that night, he acted as if nothing happened, he ate his dinner and went to bed. We didn't tell my mother what happened, and we thought that he had killed that guy, but a few weeks later one of the secretaries that worked for my father came to visit us and told us that he survived, and that's how my mother found out about it. That secretary also told us that she was done working there, and she admitted that she was having a affair with my father, but that wasn't news to us because my mother already knew he was cheating on her. My father brought us to witness 2 more of his adventures in beating employees over the next few years, and he would always tell us that he was teaching us a important lesson about life.
My father had friends that were cops, so he didn't ever answer for his crimes, they would just ignore what he did. It was the 80s and things were different back then, and I know that the people he hurt feared him so they probably didn't try any legal action against my father. I remember one night my parents were fighting, and he was beating my mother, and we could hear her screaming from downstairs, so I called the cops and when they arrived, my father just told them you know how it is with women, and my father and the cops stood there laughing about it and then they went. That's how disgusting male culture was back then. I thought my father was going to pressure us to find out which of us called the cops, but he just turned to us and smiled, I guess he had enough fun for this night.
I'm serious when I tell you that the only time I ever saw my father smile was when he was hurting someone. I can remember one occasion when I was 9 and we were on the bus going to school, another kid was picking on my younger sister, so I waited until we got out of the bus and I punched the kid as hard as I could right in front of the teachers and other parents, so the school said that I couldn't ride the bus for a whole week. As you could imagine, I thought my father was going to beat me for it as he had done so many times before, but to my unbelievable surprise, he was happy about it, he told me that he was proud of me for hurting that kid, and that I should crush anyone that gets in my way, and he actually took us out to McDonald's that night. That's how he rewarded that kind of behavior.
There was one night I won't ever forget as long as I live, I was 8 and it was my mother's birthday, she brought us kids out to celebrate and we were with her the whole day, we knew my father would be home late as usual so we thought we would be back before he got home, but when we got there he was waiting for us. He immediately started arguing with her, and he accused her of being out there with a man, so she sarcastically said that she was out f-----g someone even though she was with us, then my father punched her in the face and knocked out her tooth, and beat her up and then threw her out of the house, she didn't come back that night.
I know that you won't believe what I'm going to tell you next, but I swear to you that it is the truth, and may I be struck dead by lightning if I'm lying.
Then my father went to the kitchen and started to drink beer, my siblings and I were sitting on the stairs across from the kitchen where we watched him go through a case of 24 cans of beer, when he was done, he walked right past us and went outside and got in his car. We just sat there because we were afraid and we knew what he would do to us. About 30 minutes later he got back with another 24 cans of beer, and he went straight to the kitchen and drank half of the case, then he went up the stairs past us, didn't say a word, and went to sleep. We were scared so we just sat on the stairs for another 2hrs before we finally went to the basement to sleep. To this day, I don't know how he consumed that much alcohol, safely drove to get more, came back and drank even more, and still woke up the next day. I know most people don't believe that story when I tell them, but my siblings and I know the truth, and The Lord knows the truth, so I don't care what other people think.
So eventually my mother had enough of his <deleted>, and when I was 10 she took us kids and walked out, leaving him and his money behind. My older sister was 16 and instead of sticking around to help my mother with the younger siblings, she went out on her own and made her way to Florida, where she still lives with her own family. We don't hold it against her because we know she had to do what was right for her. At first, things were great without him, for the first time in our lives we actually enjoyed Christmas, birthdays, and vacations without him starting a fight and ruining it for us, and even when he was around he didn't ever spend a dime on us, so even though my mother struggled, we were happy without him.
My mother had been kept in a cage like a animal for 17 years by my father, he didn't allow her to work, and she had been a stay at home mom so long that it was hard for her to find decent employment, but she did what she could and we got by, but by the time I was 13 things were getting really tough and I had to get my first real job to help out. I got a job as a mover during the summer, so while other kids my age were having fun, I got up every single day at 6am to go move boxes and furniture. I hated the job, I'm not going to bore you with the details, but I will say that I came home every day in pain, but the pay was good for a 13yr old, so I did that for the whole summer, and I continued to do that job every summer until I graduated high school.
When I got to high school I started working the nightshift and weekends at Home Depot in the shipping and receiving department, I was doing this while balancing school during the day. I was able to do this for a few reasons, I had some great teachers that were very understanding of my situation, so they gave me a certain amount of leeway, and because I have a great capacity for memory, I retained everything I learned and passed my tests rather easily. I've also mentioned before that I'm a insomniac, I'm absolutely serious about this, I've been this way since since I was a little kid, I'm usually awake about 20hrs a day, and it's normal for me. I mean seriously, have you ever noticed the time of day I make some of my posts? That's the reason I've actually had the time to watch those shows and movies, and why I can remember them, and other useless information, and why I could work those hours and still graduate.
I will be the first person to admit that during that time I was bitter about my situation, I looked at other kids my age and saw that they were getting a free ride from their mommies and daddies and I was angry that I had to it for myself, but my mother told me I was doing the right thing, and she was right. So after balancing school, Home Depot, and still working as a mover during the summers for a few years, I was able to help my family and I was still able to put something aside for myself and build on it. After high school I tried to go to college, but I quickly realized it wasn't for me, the thought of paying out for the possibility of a better job one day, when I could be making money now was just hilarious to me. Don't get me wrong, achieving a higher education is a great way to a good career, but I didn't have my mommy and daddy to pay my way, and I wasn't going to put myself in debt, so I chose my path and went to work.
A guy I knew from school told me about this place, he told me the owner was a decent person that took care of his employees and treated them right and the pay was good, so I checked it out. I was 19 when I started working here, and I worked my way to the top, and when my boss told us that he was retiring and he wanted to sell the business, I saw a major opportunity, so we made a deal and I bought the business as well as the 2 buildings he owned. I kept the name of the business because it was already established in the community, and to honor my boss, because he taught me how a business should be run, and I'm not talking about the actual business side of it, but how to treat every employee and customer like they are family.
We have expanded our business a few times over the years, most recently last Dec. when we opened a third business, and just a update on that, we did amazing with the launch, and we made more last year than we did in the last 3 years of business, it was a great season for us. I have also made some very smart investments over the years, like when I was in my teens I put some of what I made aside to invest in collectables, I went after comics and sports cards, and I don't mean that mass produced <deleted> from the 90s that every idiot was buying thinking that it would be worth something some day, I went after the items from the 50s and 60s that were 500 bucks back then, that now sell for 20 grand and higher, so I was smart about it. When I was 20 I also bought multiple pieces of undeveloped land for cheap, and over the years the surrounding land has been bought up by developers, I have had offers to buy the land, but I'm still holding out for now.
My mother is one of the kindest people you will ever meet, she is a fun loving, peaceful, religious person that loves life, so I have often wondered how she ended up with with a pathetic, alcoholic, psychopath like my father, and believe me, I have asked her multiple times, and I still haven't got a clear answer, she usually dodges the question, or just says that it was youthful indiscretion. She once told us a story about how she took a knife and shredded her wedding dress when she knew the marriage was over, I was 2 at the time so I don't remember it, but my older sister told us about it as well, how she watched our mother crying while ripping up her dress, but even after that she still stayed with my father for 8 more years.
Now I'm going to say something that might surprise you, that is, of course, if anyone is actually reading this. In some sick way, I should actually thank my father, because I learned from him what not to do in this life. You don't take your marital vows to beat and cheat on your wife, you don't hurt your kids, and you don't hurt and treat people wrong for no reason. My mother raised us well, and even though we grew up around his negativity, she taught us to be good people, and to be respectful to everybody. I still live that way today, I treat everybody that works with me like they are my family. Yes, there are times when I have to be firm, and some people might think I'm being a jerk, but that's part of running any business, you have to be tough or people will try to take advantage of you. I haven't ever once hit my wife or kids, and I never will, your kids are a gift from The Lord, and you don't ever mistreat them. I've learned that family is the most important thing in this life.
As I write this, I look around and I'm thankful for what we have, but I also know that nobody gave me anything in this life, I worked for it.
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MauEvig - I want to wish you the best with your book.
I have a friend that has had her books published, and she told me that even though your publisher will promote your book, that the best way to get attention is to promote it yourself, as long as it's not a breach of your contract with your publisher. She mainly uses social media, as you reach the largest possible audience that way, and she would also print flyers and put them up in local bookstores, coffee shops, and on campus boards to get people interested. She has also sent free copies to various reviewers, and if they liked it they would promote it for her, but that method also has a opposite side, if they don't like the book they can be really mean with their reviews, so you have to have a thick skin and handle the criticism, not everyone is going to like every book, so it's best to pick reviewers that usually review books on the particular subject you have written.
If teaching makes you happy then you should try to go further with it, and do full time teaching like you said. Also, as with any new profession you might be interested in getting into, start slowly and make sure that you actually get pleasure from doing it, if you find that it's more frustrating than fun then you probably aren't going to enjoy doing it for a job on the side, or full time. Regardless of what you choose to do, just remember that no matter what other people tell you, as long as you always bet on yourself you will always win.
