Hey...Nos. Hadn't heard from you in a while and I hadn't sent you anything either....
Here is what's been going on familywise...My health issues are still major. They still haven't figured out my seizures. I go December 4th to the neurologist, but I have a feeling they are going to tell me it's all in my head. Oh well. Here's what's been going on (I copied my blog from my myspace).
Well This is kind of hard. I don't want everyone to think my husband is a total <deleted> but I need to get all of this down.
We've been together almost 20 years (come May it will be 20 years). In that time he's managed to hurt me plenty. Yes he's been abusive. I've always made excuses like a typical abused person and came back. I've made sacrifices and kept my marriage together. We have 4 beautiful special needs children and I wouldn't let all that go down the drain. He's managed to emotionally and physically abuse me. But I've always come back and made things better.
Well this time things weren't quite the same. I've been on medication and they had changed it so I was sick. But his state of mind had been deteriorating for the last couple weeks. Anyway...On Halloween (my most sacred day in the world) he called me and told me and our best friend, who was visiting, to get the hell out. If I didn't get the hell out of the house that he would throw me out of the house through the front door with it closed. I'm a very passive person and he's a very violent person and with his recent change I knew better than to take that chance. I knew he would never harm my children, so I made the hardest decision in my life and packed a few things and left. It wasn't quite that easy but I did.
Our best friend, Mac, who was here to help me with my haunted house (which didn't happen because I was so sick because of the change in my medicine) had driven his hearse here, loaded my stuff in his hearse and sat out on the yard with me while I cried holding my youngest son for almost 30 minutes before I could be pried away from him to leave. (Yes that was one long sentence.) I had to be out and gone before my husband got home from work. My oldest son is 17 and could take care of the other 2 boys for a couple hours so I wasn't worried. So I climbed into the hearse and left. Mac and I cried. The entire trip to Atlanta where I would be safe we cried.
My husband kept calling and texting me. But he doesn't remember all that. He came home from work found my stuff gone and realized that I'd actually done it. He never realized I'd leave the kids. But he gave me no choice. At least not in my eyes. So he tried to get me to come back, but I couldn't. He took a handful of sleeping pills and bottle of booze and tried to commit suicide, he told me he was doing this and he was giving our son the phone. So when he did, I told our son to call for rescue. Well after the paramedics left, he'd talked his way out of going to the hospital, he called me and bitched me out and said I didn't care. That I was just being a bitch and trying to put him in jail or hospital.
He didn't wake up until Friday, Nov 2. Then he went and changed all of his beneficiary stuff and took me off the insurance. Meanwhile I'd been on the run, trying to find someplace to stay a few days around Atlanta. The kids even though they were here with him, he hadn't been taking care of them, they didn't get to go Trick or Treating, our oldest son was just fixing whatever he could for them to eat. Which usually was ramein noodles. LOL Anyway Friday afternoon my hubby tried again to kill himself. This time the paramedics hauled him to the hospital. He had locked himself in the bedroom and called them himself. He had a guard on his door. And ended up volunteering to stay. He stayed for 6 days.
He's getting counselling, and going to AA. He never realized he has a drinking problem or drug problem. He always said "yeah I did this to her" but never really realized that he had been doing all these things to me. Yes granted he can't overcome all these things overnight but he has made leaps and bounds of changes in a short time.
I've agreed to come back at least for the short term and see if we can't make it work. On Sat. Nov 3, that night my "sister" called me and said that my son had emailed her son and basically sounded suicidal. I asked her to email him and let him know I would be home in a day or so. But she said she would be here in 10 hours to get the kids. They needed to be in a stable environment. I was flabbergasted. She's a great friend and I told her, I would be home not to worry. She wouldn't take no for an answer. So I discussed getting home with my friends and we managed to come up with the money to get me home that night. I was home by 1:30am Sun. Nov 4. She arrived, 8 1/2months pregnant, at 7:30am Sun Nov 4. We went to the attorney at about 9:30am and got power of attorney papers drawn up and the 3 boys were on the way out of the state by 11:30am. My oldest, my daughter is living with her boyfriend, so she is safe. She is 18 and one great young lady.
So as it stands, he was released from the hospital on the 6th and we've been to counselling. He has more appts. But he has made major progress already. I've got a backbone. Our finances are in ruin. We will let the kids stay with my "sister" until things here are stable. We've set a small goal of February. If it looks like we are still making progress in February we'll stay together and go get the kids. If it looks like we aren't making any progress, then when we get our income tax money we will use it and file our bankruptcy and divorce. And there won't be any major hard feelings about all of this. We are keeping our eyes and options open from here on out. We both know all of this. This probably sounds harsh to some people but it is the best for now.
Thank you for reading, I just had to put all this down in writing.
The only other thing is that I didn't get Halloween. My most precious day. I did get a 300 mile, in 2 days, trip in a 73 Cadillac hearse. But I was so sick, I couldn't set up my haunt, then we couldn't take the boys out trick or treating in the hearse, so my Halloween was ruined. Sounds petty but you all know that Halloween is the biggest holiday for me.
