Any family problem?

[iHaunt]

My mom is still wandering around the living room, dining room, bath room, the kitchen, etc.... So much work to do, so much worry.... what can I do??? Dumb-azz grandpa letted my mom to move in to live with me!!!

[iHaunt]

But, my grandpa does loves her as much as I do! Should I leave home?

[Spookymufu]

yes.......

[iHaunt]

Should I live alone with my own gf?

[Pumpkin_Man]

iHaunt, if you can afford your own place, then the answer is an emphatic "YES!" Having your own living space does not mean you don't love your Mom or your Grandfather. It simply means that as a man, you have a need for your own space and a suite of rooms you can call your own. If anything, your Grandfather would be very supportive in that. I don't know about your Mom, however. My mon didn't like the idea of my moving out when I did, but she was the type who allways saw us as her "babies.

If you have a gf, that's all the more reason to go. I don't know how your relationship with that girl is, and I dont' want to pry into your personal business, but relationships like that often do result in marige, and being maried and living in your parents or her parents house puts a lot of stress on both the mariage and your relationship with the people who you live with.

My late brother is the perfect example of this. Don't get me wrong. He was one of the finest men I ever knew, and had one of the kindest hearts to boot, but like all other human beings he made his share of mistakes. One of those mistakes was getting married and having children before he was financialy ready for that kind of a life. He ended up moving back in with us, ( my younger sister and I were still kids, and two of my older brothers, though adults sill lived at home) and it was a NIGHTMARE in every sense of the word. We had him, his wife and baby, for a totalof 13 people at one point, all living in a 3 bedroom house, with me having to use our back porch as a bed room. Money was short, inconvenience was the order of the day, and we all had to "tip toe" around and couldn't even play records or the radio because the baby was sleeping. We were sick all the time, because of all the germs being brought into the hosue from all the different schools and work places we all went to, and there were a lot of arguments, and one very huge and particularly nasty argument between my late brother and my father. It actualy came close to comming to blows, it was that bad.

He lived with us for about a year and a half before he finaly decided enough was enough and rented a place out in Momence Ill.

I miss him, as I do all my siblings, but I'll NEVER live with them again.

Mike

[Spookymufu]

wow, mike, you must of missed the 400 posts iHaunt has made about hating his mom, wanting to kill his mom, wishing his mom was dead, wanting his mom to move away etc...

and his GF is Monique, his plastic maid statue

[Pumpkin_Man]

I guess I did miss something. At any rate, I still think that adult human beings need their own living space, and if the situation is as volital as you say, then the sooner iHaunt moves out the better IMHO.

Mike

[iHaunt]

I didn't mean to hate my mom or grandpa..... I do love my grandpa more than my mom b/c my mom is always bitching around in my house! She is not bossy of this house! My grandpa suggested me to stay here or leave here, only up to me.

[Pumpkin_Man]

If you do decide on your own place, be sure that you can afford it. It's a good idea to plan out a budget, but I'm sure you know how to do that.

Moving out is not allways done because you hate some one, or have a hard time living with them. More often then not, moving to your own digs is done to SAVE your relationship with your parents and siblings. In the case of a mariage, that's another story, but I know that if I hadn't moved out of my parents house when I did, I would have ultimately grown to hate them as well as my younger sister. It's the nature of adults to need and want to have their own way about things. Even as a kid, I was allways some what set in my ways, and like my brother Jack, it took a huge, hurtful argument that almost destroyed my relationship with my parents and my sister, to realize that there are some things that are more important to an adult then "togetherness." "Togetherness" is fine, when you're the father, mother, husband or wife, but not when you're a grown up still living with your parents.

The down side that has to be considered, is that the owners of the house have every leagal and moral right to impose what ever rules they see fit. When you're an adult, that canoften lead to friction, as is did in my case and in my late brother's case. My moving out when I did not only saved my relationship with my loved ones, it actualu ENHANCED it. There's an old cliche that though may sound hokey, is very true. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." When you no longer live , all of your waking hours, with your mom and grandfather, you will actualy start to miss them, as they will start to miss you. When you do come over for a visit, it will be an enjoyable respot from the daily grind of work, house keeping, and everything else you do day to day.

Anyway, I hope I was of some help to you. Getting your own place is a big decision, and a huge responsibility. It also involvs a lot of work, especialy if you own the place as I do. I own my house, and am responsible for all the up keep, cleaning and yard work. If I don't mow the grass, it'll be 6 feet tall. If I don't clean the bathroom and the toilet, it will stink like an out house, and nobody will want to visit me. If I don't clean my kitchen and do the dishes, I'll have varying forms of life evolving in my kitchen sink. If I don't vaccum and dust, and keep the rest of the house clean, the dust will be an inch thick, and I'll be over run by bugs. If I don't take out the garbage, the garbage will pile up.

Am I the "all perfect" house keeper. No, not really. My house does get a little "gamy" from time to time, but I won't let it get to the point that it looks like a "hoarder" lives there, either. I try to do one room a day as needed, and then a hevier cleaning for the holidays every November and my Spring cleaning in March.

Well, I am running off at the mouth again, trying to be an advisor. Please excuse it, but I also hope that I was at least a little help to you in your decision.

Mike

[iHaunt]

Ok, thanks a lot to you Pumpkin man!

[MacPhantom]

Does your grandpa's house have a crawl space?

[witchy]

[iHaunt]

Does your grandpa's house have a crawl space?

Oh, yeah!

[Murfreesboro]

iHaunt, I don't read every thread, so I may have missed important info. Are you a legal adult? Do you have a full-time job? If you can answer "yes" to both of those questions, then I think you ought to be looking for your own place, with or without your GF.

Speaking as a parent of three, one of whom is a recent college graduate--he is getting his own apartment this week, and I think we are all happy about it. We love him and he loves us, and we enjoy his company. But after four years of his living away at college, he now seems more like a guest in our house than a full-time resident. When he's here, things are different. Our schedules are somewhat affected by his, especially because, at the moment, he doesn't own a car and needs to use one of ours occasionally. (He is going to be a graduate student in a near-by town and has found an apartment within walking/bike riding distance of the campus.) And of course it is more expensive when he's home, because we are feeding another person. As long as his dad & I know that he is where he needs to be right now, we are happy for him to be on his own. He is 21, soon to be 22. It is time for him to be on his own.

Of course, if you moved in with your grandfather because he needed a companion, your situation may be somewhat more complicated. But if your mom is capable of being there for him (I mean, she has no illnesses or addictions herself that would preclude her being responsible for someone else at this time), maybe it is time for her to take on that role.

[iHaunt]

Yes, I am adult and I do have a gf. My grandpa will give me his house when he is gone, you know? Of course, I do have full time job as the night watchman at the cemetery. Good pay. Maybe I will leave the cemetery by the end of this summer b/c I hope to work at the haunted attraction, but if not then I will stay at the cemetery.

Thanks for asking.

iHaunt, I don't read every thread, so I may have missed important info. Are you a legal adult? Do you have a full-time job? If you can answer "yes" to both of those questions, then I think you ought to be looking for your own place, with or without your GF.

Speaking as a parent of three, one of whom is a recent college graduate--he is getting his own apartment this week, and I think we are all happy about it. We love him and he loves us, and we enjoy his company. But after four years of his living away at college, he now seems more like a guest in our house than a full-time resident. When he's here, things are different. Our schedules are somewhat affected by his, especially because, at the moment, he doesn't own a car and needs to use one of ours occasionally. (He is going to be a graduate student in a near-by town and has found an apartment within walking/bike riding distance of the campus.) And of course it is more expensive when he's home, because we are feeding another person. As long as his dad & I know that he is where he needs to be right now, we are happy for him to be on his own. He is 21, soon to be 22. It is time for him to be on his own.

Of course, if you moved in with your grandfather because he needed a companion, your situation may be somewhat more complicated. But if your mom is capable of being there for him (I mean, she has no illnesses or addictions herself that would preclude her being responsible for someone else at this time), maybe it is time for her to take on that role.