Catching up

[Andybev01]

I honestly can't imagine what a parent in the modern world goes through just to keep their kids safe and aware.

I was only on the periphery of parenthood , via my single mom friend beck in the nineties.

I shared a house with her and her son and her boyfriend and I'm fairly certain that he and I were meant to be there as examples of how men should conduct themselves in society.

Her BF was a down-to-earth, pragmatic, old-fashioned guy who you can still find in any upper-midwestern town to this day and I'm sure that my role was as yin to his yang, a creative daydreamer who would end up as the admin for a Halloween chat room in his late 50s living in a tree with his head in the clouds.

I'm sure that his mother viewed us both of us as a mix Twain's characters of the Good little boy and the Bad little boy.

[Murfreesboro]

Oh, what a gorgeous photo!

Andy, you made me chuckle. I'm sure you're not really a "bad" boy, though perhaps a somewhat unconventional one. I suspect you are an independent thinker, which is always a good thing.

The internet was just starting to invade homes when my kids were growing up, and I was learning about it along with them. We were by no means the first in our circle to buy into ir. And, yes, I think it has greatly complicated parenting.

My mother told me that her father refused to have a radio in the house for many years because he feared the outside world intruding into his home. Then, when I was born shortly after my parents had bought their first tv, she used to talk to me often about its potential influence. Looking back on that, I believe she was trying to coach me to think critically about what I heard on tv. I'm not sure I did as good a job doing that with my own kids as my mother did with me.

Looking back just now, it seems I managed to post the same message three times in a row yesterday. I remember it seemed I was having trouble getting it to post at all. Sorry about that.

[Andybev01]

I know you mean about the influence of mass media in general.

Everybody thinks that Whatever technology comes along in their lifetimes is going to be the downfall of mankind , but there's always something around the corner that we have no idea about , that could be potentially far worse.

A happy note, If you look really closely in the bottom , one third of the photo you will see the first pumpkin seed sprouted at my sister's garden!

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

Murf - I know what you mean, I was trying to make a post last night but it wouldn't let me.

On Tues. I went to pick up the kids from school and the principal was standing outside and she said that she wanted to talk with me for a moment, so I told the kids to wait in the car. She said that it recently came to her attention that Phoebe had severely hurt another girl in a fight, and that she was concerned about the behavior she heard about ... I stopped her before she could say anything else and I said ... That fight was in a sanctioned environment at a tournament, and it wasn't on school grounds. Has Phoebe ever once hit another kid, or had a fight in school? Has she ever been sent to your office, or swear, or been rude in school? The principal answered ... No. I said ... Then there's nothing to discuss. Then I got in the car. Stupid b*tch. I'm glad that we won't be sending our kids back to that pathetic school after the summer anyway.

I went to the tournament committee board meeting today, and WOW! What a joke. They treated it like it was a f***ing murder trial.

It's a good thing that the competitors have to sign a waiver before competing stating that they understand the risks associated with competing, and the tournament board, or any of the competitors participating can't be held legally liable for any physical injuries that happen at the tournament. Otherwise they would be able to charge Phoebe with assault.

They appointed a representative from the board to argue against us, and that woman was trying to get Phoebe permanently banned from competing, they presented video evidence, and the referee and the girl's parents were also there. Apparently, the girl was injured worse than we thought, she had 2 teeth knocked out, and another tooth is loose, she also has a concussion, and she's been disoriented since the tournament.

They went on and on for over 30 minutes, trying to say that Phoebe was a bad person that had exhibited brutality and extreme violence that she was remorseless for, and a lack of respect for the referee and the regulations of the tournament. I wanted to tell them to go f**k themselves, but I know how important the tournament and competing is to Phoebe, so I went into full lawyer mode.

I pointed out that the referee gave the girl the choice to stop after the kicks to her ribs, and if she was smart enough to recognize the pain she was in and stop then she would still have her teeth, but her stubbornness caused her further injury. To my surprise, some of the committee members actually agreed with me. I said to her parents that maybe the reason that they wanted to get Phoebe banned is because their 11 year old was beaten and humiliated by a 8 year old that is vastly superior, and that if their girl was half as good as people say that she is then she would have found a way to counter the attack, and maybe they should reconsider if this is the right sport for their girl. They were p*ssed when I said that to them, but a dose of the truth will do that. Again, to my surprise, some of the members agreed with me.

I also mentioned that the referees have always been lenient with violence at the tournaments, and the referee in this match should have used his discretion and stopped the girl from continuing when he knew that she was already injured, but his incompetence directly resulted in the further injuries that she received. So how is he qualified to be a referee if he can't even determine where to draw the line when it comes to the safety of competitors? Another agreement from the committee members. As for the middle fingers from Phoebe and her trainers, I told them to wake up, this is the real world, and if they allow people to yell and swear, and hold signs that say ... f**k the refs ... in the crowd, then they shouldn't have any issue with her behavior. Then I pulled out my phone and showed them a picture of the sign, and some of them acted like they haven't seen signs like that at the tournaments before.

Anyway, long story short, the committee voted 8-2 in our favor, and they said that Phoebe can compete in the tournament on Sat. but I have to pay a $500 fine for her previous behavior, and the DQ still stands, and she's going into the tournament with a 5 point deduction. I also offered to pay for the girl's dental bill because it's probably the right thing to do, and her parents were at least happy about it. After the meeting, Phoebe's trainers thanked me and said that they probably wouldn't have got the decision if I wasn't there. I've said this before, but the only thing that the people that run the tournaments care about is lining their pockets, and they will always look the other way for the right price. Isn't capitalism great?

When I got home and told Phoebe that she is allowed to compete on Sat. she ran up and gave me the biggest hug that she's ever given me. She was excited and jumping around, but I told her that we had to have a serious talk. I told her that she has to remain focused, and that even with a 5 point deficit she can still win first place in the tournament and rub it in their faces. She just has to do what she always does, outmaneuver and outtthink her opponents, she just has to score a point on them. I told her that there are ways to psychologically f**k with their mind, without physically hurting them, and that I would teach her how to. When I said that she smiled, then we went to work on her training.

Oh yeah, one of the employees at the restaurant that's cheering Phoebe on to win sent this picture to me. I like it.

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[Murfreesboro]

I'd been wondering how things turned out for Phoebe. I read aloud to my husband that section about the school principal and what she said. We both thought she was out of line.

You would have made a superb lawyer! Bravo to you for championing your child.

I hope Phoebe does well this Saturday. I also hope she has learned that she can win without doing serious harm to her opponent. It was gracious and appropriate of you to offer to pay for the other child's dental bill.

Andy! Hooray for pumpkin seedlings!

[Andybev01]

"Anyway, long story short,"... oh, buddy

Thanks, Murf. From now until the beginning of August, my side of the building gets morning and evening sunshine albeit at a severe angle , and it just makes the place light up.

I put out my flag pole holder and baked a batch of cookies.

My first eye surgery is on the first so the next week is all about me.

[Murfreesboro]

That interior shot looks like something from a magazine. How gorgeous!

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

Thank you, Murf.

Andy - I hope that your surgery goes well.

It seems like this whole week everybody was persecuting Phoebe because of what she did, and when the woman that the board appointed started trying to convince the committee that Phoebe was a bad person, I had enough and I wasn't going to let some piece of trash that doesn't even know her try to get her banned from the sport that she loves. I didn't tell Phoebe what some of the people at the meeting said about her, because their opinion is useless. Besides, I know that Phoebe has thick skin like me, and she doesn't care what other people say about her.

On the other side of that, her grandparents absolutely approved of her behavior at the tournament, my mother and my wife's parents have told her that they are very proud of her, and they also attended the tournament this Sat. She also told me that most of the kids that she knows think what she did was awesome, but there are a few kids that have been avoiding her, probably because they are afraid of her.

I did legitimately feel bad for the girl that got her teeth knocked out, because I know that she didn't do anything to deserve what happened to her, and she's just a kid, so that's why I offered to cover the cost of the dental bill. If she gets a denture pallet it will be cheaper, but if she wants permanent implants then the price could run into the thousands. I know those were her adult teeth, but I don't know if they do implants for kids, either way, I'll pay for them regardless of how much they are.

The finals of the tournament were on Sat. and when we got to the arena and we were entering the building there was a small group of people waiting by the entrance and as soon as they saw Phoebe they went quiet. After Phoebe went to the dressing rooms with her trainers, we were walking around the building for awhile looking at some of the art they had on the walls, and the referee from the meeting approached me and said ... you know that they fined me because of what you said, right? My reply ... good! maybe now you'll do your f***ing job. He gave me this look of hate, and he was giving the same look to Phoebe for the whole day.

While we were walking around we heard a few people whispering, and I was also approached by 2 of the committee members, a married couple, and they told me that they were fans of Phoebe, and they thought that she will be a big deal in this sport in the coming years. I thanked them for their kind words, and my father-in-law told them that Phoebe was going to knock out everybody there, and they said that they hope she does, and everybody laughed, though my wife looked uncomfortable. Anyway, then we went to our seats.

I thought about if I was going to tell you this next part or not, but I've always been unapologetic for who I am, and I honestly don't care what other people think about me, so if you think that I'm a a**hole after you read it, then I politely say thank you for the compliment. When somebody gets me angry I take it personally, and after what that b*tch said about Phoebe at the meeting, and the fine I had to pay, I knew that I was going to send them a message for it. I've always been good at getting under people's skin, and f***ing with their mind, and when Phoebe showed me that she still hadn't washed the Gi with the dried bloodstains on it, I told her to wear it to the tournament to p*ss off everybody there. When I told her that she knew exactly what type of message it would send, and she smiled at me, and said that she wants to do it.

We were sitting there for about 20 minutes before Phoebe came out to compete, and as soon as she walked out the place erupted, most of the people were cheering and yelling for her, but there were also some loud boos. I told her when she went out there to deliberately draw attention to the blood on her Gi, so she went directly in front of the crowd and started motioning towards it, the crowd got even louder, and I heard some people yelling profanity at her, but the people that loved it were chanting Phoebe! Phoebe! Phoebe! Her grandparents and Sam were cheering along, but my wife looked at me like she was annoyed. I heard various comments throughout the day, some people thought that it was tasteless, and viciously cold, while others praised it saying that it was calculated, and a brilliant way to psych out her opponents. I guess we will find out if the b*tches on the board fine me for it.

Anyway, back to the tournament, each match is 3 points to a win. I swear that I've never seen Phoebe so focused in her life, she went out there in full assassin mode and aggressively eliminated every single opponent that she fought, leading to the finals. It was Phoebe against a 12 year old girl with a decent track record, she was known as one of the best there, just like the girl last week, and it was the first time that Phoebe had competed against her. The match started and it wasn't even 10 seconds before Phoebe landed the first hit, she gave the girl a direct kick to the stomach, the girl looked stunned because she wasn't prepared for it. She struggled to get to her feet, then it took a moment to recover. The second round started and Phoebe plowed toward her with a flurry of punches and kicks, the girl tried to counter for as long as she could but then Phoebe sidestepped her and did a cartwheel and jumped up with a kick to the chest, and the girl dropped, and she was holding her chest.

The referee asked if she could continue, and after 2 minutes, she foolishly decided to continue. This is the last round of the tournament, and specifically where I told Phoebe to f**k with their mind. The match restarted and usually the competitors start with a fighting stance, but Phoebe just stood there with her hands behind her, intensely staring at her opponent, the girl was confused, she stepped toward Phoebe expecting her to move but she didn't, the girl hesitated and stepped back, she looked at the referee and the crowd, then she looked at Phoebe and yelled COME ON! But Phoebe just stood there silently staring at her, then the girl finally got desperate and lunged at her, Phoebe swung around and gave the fastest spin kick you've ever seen and kicked the girl to the side of her face and knocked her to the ground, and won first place in the tournament ... in her age group.

After the match they had 2 women interviewing Phoebe, they asked her how she felt about the win, and she said ... this is just the beginning. Then they asked her about the blood on her Gi, she mockingly asked the woman, what, you don't like it? I wore it out of respect for a fallen competitor, then she walked away, she delivered the line perfectly just like I told her to. Then the woman said ... that's one cold little girl. The other woman said ... actually, she's red hot right now, this kid is unstoppable! A few minutes later, Phoebe and her trainers were approached by the girl that she beat in the finals, she wanted to congratulate her, and Phoebe just walked away, but her trainers told the girl that she did well. When we were leaving the building some teens saw us and said that Phoebe was awesome, and asked if they could get a picture with her, so she happily smiled for it.

She came, she saw, she kicked a**, and got first place in the tournament, and now the cutest little fighting machine is going to the Nationals.

[Murfreesboro]

Wow, that's some drama. I guess there are a number of sports where top competitors can attract both love and hate from the crowds. Sounds like Phoebe could be headed that way.

I am very ignorant of martial arts. Is her sport called kickboxing? It sounds like she's allowed to do all kinds of gymnastic moves that wouldn't be familiar to all competitors.

Anyway, congrats to her on the win and advancing to nationals! That's a very big deal in any sport.

[Andybev01]

Thanks. HH. The first eye gets worked on this coming Monday and then if all goes well the second one gets done the week following so by the end of june I should be back to normal.

You need one of these...

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

You need one of these...

Yes I do.

When I was a kid the only thing we knew about martial arts was from action movies. We wanted to do Karate classes, and we could have afforded it, but my cheap pathetic father refused to pay for classes. So we just learned how to kick the sh*t out of other kids by ourselves.

Is her sport called kickboxing?

Yes and no. Kickboxing is one of the many different types of martial arts that she utilizes in her arsenal. In the old days each specific style was separate from the other, and they each had their own competition circuit, but these days they teach and allow many different types of traditional and modern martial arts and just call it mixed martial arts, aka MMA, like the UFC and other popular professional fighting leagues. So competitors can now use techniques and elements from various disciplines including Karate, Kung Fu, Aikido, Taekwondo, Kickboxing, Muay Thai, and many others.

Basically, Phoebe has created her own unique hybrid system of maneuvers by incorporating her gymnastics skills and flexibility into her martial arts training, and ao far it's been extremely effective and her opponents can't counter her moves because they aren't trained to defend themselves against a technique that technically doesn't exist. Her instructor told us that her style is similar to Capoeira, a Brazilian martial art that blends dance, acrobatics, and music, it's a technique that most people here are unfamiliar with, so even the teachers can't train their students to counter against it in competition.

I got a email from the tournament board, I thought they were going to fine me again, but it was to congratulate Phoebe on her win, and give us the details on the Nationals. It's going to be a 2 day tournament from Jun. 27-28th in New Jersey, so it's not that far from us. She is still going to be in the same age group, but she can compete against boys at this tournament, she will be competing against some of the best kids in the country, and every student that makes it there is the best in their territory, so it will be interesting to watch how well she does against them. Of course, her trainers and I have no doubt that she can sweep the whole tournament, just like she did with the last 4 competitions.

The last day of school is on the 26th, but I don't want to have her travel there on the Fri. and have to compete the next day, so we are probably going to be there earlier than that. Millie's birthday is also on the 20th, and and we were already going to be in Florida that week, so it looks like it's going to be back to back trips for us, and I'm sure that the school will complain about it again, but that school sucks anyway.

[Murfreesboro]

Well, I know that public schools around here do basically nothing those last few days. They are just having to hold school for a certain number of days for legal reasons. So your girls won't be missing any content at all.

Our schools let out this week. Friday is the last day for us, and it's a two hour day. At the high school level, hardly any students are present. The seniors all graduated in mid-May. Exams are held for underclassmen after that, but they take them only if their grades are unsatisfactory, or if they've missed more than a certain number of days at school. After Memorial Day, it's basically just the faculty present at the high schools. At the grade school level, they'll be having field days, that sort of thing. Of course, designated schools will remain open during the summer months, mainly for kids who won't eat three meals a day unless they get free and reduced lunch at school.

It seems to me that down here, the kids get June and July off, but they have to report back the first week of August. Up north they seem to attend through June, but then take July and August off. When I was in school the summers were longer. We got June, July, and August. But we didn't get many breaks during the year. No fall break, two days for Thanksgiving, maybe Good Friday. Now they get a week off each for fall break, Thanksgiving, and spring break

Thanks for explaining about "mixed martial arts." I didn't really know such a discipline existed. I hope Phoebe enjoys her competition and does well it would frighten me to put my daughter up against boys, but if any girl can handle that, it's probably Phoebe.

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

Honestly, if it wasn't for my kids I wouldn't even know about martial arts, as it's something that I didn't have a interest in before they started training. I'm surprised that you haven't heard about MMA, I know that it's obviously not something that you are personally interested in, but it's been so popular in society for the last 20 years, and I'm sure that if you mentioned it to your kids they would know exactly what it is.

Regarding school, my wife and I have already decided that we are going to be sending the kids to private school but we haven't told them yet. I don't think that Sam will be bothered by it because she was going to a different school for junior high, but I think that Phoebe might be upset about it because of her friends, so we will have to find the right way to tell her. I also don't know how they will feel about the uniforms they are going to have to wear at the new school.

[Murfreesboro]

I had probably heard the phrase "mixed martial arts" without ever thinking at all about what it meant, or what tournaments of that sport might look like.

So the girls will be wearing uniforms this fall! I had a friend in Catholic school who did that. I believe at least one of our non-denominational private schools here in Murfreesboro does as well. I know some kids dislike wearing them, but then, it can also be kind of a status symbol, too. Though of course I know that Catholic schools insist on them mainly to try to erase distinctions between rich and poor. I hope your girls enjoy the new environment.

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

Well, today I had a conversation with a ... uh, I would say ... evil ... yeah, we'll go with the word evil ... a evil woman.

As soon as you saw her you immediately knew what type of woman she is, not that I'm judging her appearance, but you know, she is the type of woman that's obsessed with maintaining a youthful appearance, even though she actually looks ridiculous. She is in her 50s, and she had lip filler and her face was slathered in makeup, long blonde hair, she either spends at the salon, or she's wearing extensions. A expensive business suit, showing more cleavage than she should have been, high heels, long pointy nails, and enough jewelry to make Mr. T jealous.

She walked into the restaurant and asked to speak to me, after a employee directed her to me, she asked ... Are you Phoebe (insert last name here)'s legal guardian? I replied ... legal guardian? I'm her father. The woman didn't acknowledge that statement and proceeded to introduce herself.

She said that she wanted to talk for a moment, so I told her to have a seat and we could talk. She said that she represents (insert company name here), and they are interested in Phoebe, and they want to sign her to a very lucrative exclusive contract to be the face of their brand.

I politely listened and nodded while she went on and on about the product line and the advertising campaign they have planned for her. I interrupted her and asked if she was aware of what Phoebe did to that girl, knocking out her teeth, and her behavior after the incident, and if she wants that behavior to be associated with their brand? The woman laughed and said ... that's why we want her, and that little stunt that she pulled with the bloody Gi was the icing on the cake, and that's exactly why we want her. She's cute, she's tough, and she's perfect for our brand.

For clarification, the way she explained it was that they have top competitors from around the country representing their brand in their specific region, and she wants Phoebe to represent their brand locally for now, but she's also confident that Phoebe will place first at the Nationals, and then she wants to make her one of their top faces across the country, possibly internationally as well.

The conversation went on for awhile and then she said something disturbing to me ... You know that Phoebe is the type of special person that the Military pays close attention to, and our company can bridge that gap and establish a healthy relationship and path to present her with the opportunities to make that possible.

I stared at her for a moment and said ... Military? you are aware that she's only 8, right? Would you like to elaborate on exactly why the Military would be interested in her?

She said ... Are you joking? You have seen her out there, right? She's calculated and emotionless out there, she doesn't hesitate, she doesn't stop to think about it, she just goes out there and destroys anything in front of her. She's exactly the type of focused individual that the Military views as the perfect soldier, somebody that will efficiently and effortlessly eliminate our enemies. ... Man, try saying THAT 5x fast! It makes you wonder if she rehearsed that speech, or if it came out naturally. Then she said ... You should really consider placing her into a Military school from now to maximize her potential so that when she's older she has those opportunities available to her.

Again, I silently stared at her, and I told her that I would discuss it with my wife and be in touch with her. She asked ... is your wife here? I could go over this with her right now, the faster we get this wrapped up, the faster we can get the marketing team started with the promotions.

I told her that she wasn't here, and that we would be in touch. She had a annoyed look on her face, and then almost as if she had to force herself, she smiled and said that looked forward to hearing from us, and then she walked out of the restaurant.

Then one of the servers asked me who that woman was? I said to her ... That, my dear, was the Devil in high heels.

I ripped up the business card and I didn't tell my wife about it, but I'm sure that woman will be back again. She's the type of vicious woman that exploits others, and would do anything to get what she wants. The type of person that I'm going to make sure stays away from my kids.

It does make me wonder though, does the Military actually search for young people that exhibit specific behavioral traits that they think will be useful to them? I know that woman wasn't from the Military but she said that she has connections to them. This is exactly what I didn't want to happen, just like with my memory, I didn't want people to know about Phoebe's abilities, but I guess that's hard to do when she's competing publicly. It makes me uncomfortable to think that there's a room full of people somewhere watching tapes of her kicking a** and thinking ... how can we weaponize this kid?